Interview
I met Desirée Kogevinas, a trauma-informed psychotherapist based in Geneva and London. She offers therapy services for individuals, couples, and families, specializing in trauma, family conflict, relationships, addiction, grief, anxiety, and depression. During our Zoom call, I found her charismatic and insightful, with a unique perspective on therapy that goes beyond traditional approaches.
1. Your journey in mental health has been unique. Could you share more about what led you to become a therapist?
My first meeting or crossing with mental health was relatively young, for I grew up in a family where mental issues were prevalent. There were horror stories that frightened me as a young child, and I was terrified that the “mad gene” would be passed along to me.
My journey through addiction led me to understand the correlation between addiction and mental health. Addressing trauma and slowly learning what it feels like to create a safe environment within myself was like discovering daylight after living only in the night.
Thanks to recovery, I discovered I had a passion for 1:1 connection and trying to help people in my private life. One day, I did a recovery coach training. I loved it, but I knew it was just the beginning. It felt like an awakening to my calling: to what gave me purpose. I remembered a far-off dream I still think of sometimes to do precisely what I do today – except at the time, it was laughable, an impossibility.
I transitioned from a career in communications to becoming a therapist. I specialize in trauma reduction, C-PTSD, family therapy, healthy communication, group therapy, couples therapy, working with adolescents, love addiction, sex addiction, healthy sexuality, grief counselling, mediation, positive psychology, self-esteem, setting boundaries, and creating joy. My approach is influenced by Pia Mellody’s Post Induction Treatment Therapy (PIT) and the Healing and Re-Parenting Model.
I wish to mention Chris John, who trained me in PIT with Sarah Bridge. He was patient and gentle with me and taught me so much. I am very grateful to Chris.
My passion for helping, coupled with my curiosity and my passion for learning, means that I love my job. I enjoy it so much that it usually doesn’t feel like work!
2. How do you tailor your approach to the unique needs of individuals, couples or families in your care?
I integrate several therapeutic modalities that will work with each individual’s uniqueness. Two people sharing a similar problem may need a different approach. Put it this way: I don’t provide “cookie-cutter therapy.”
I always offer an assessment to gather basic information and explain how it works. The critical point for me in this assessment is to hear from the potential client their goals. I wish to understand if they are aware of their problem – awareness is critical in therapy, though denial can be worked with. Denial is a powerful defence mechanism. It is often a survival mechanism that kicks in for a person when they are very young to protect them from the unsafe or insecure environment they are growing up in. I would like to hear about their goals, as these are indicative of the stage they are at. It is perfectly fine if they are at any stage, with any goals, or with no goals at all. My priority is to listen, understand, build a relationship, and respond to the needs I hear with care in my heart.
3. Client autonomy, allowing clients to lead their healing journey, is crucial to your work. How do you balance guiding clients with empowering them to take ownership of their personal development and recovery?
This is a good question. Again, it depends entirely on the client, at what stage of their therapy we are at, and even at what stage of the session. I follow my intuition often and check things out with the client. I challenge my clients, try to bring things to the light, and ask them if they are interested in exploring this. I do not push them into areas they do not wish to go to. First, I believe they have been pushed around enough. Second, we work on boundaries a lot, and the relationship between us is built on trust, respect, and valuing the client’s feelings, values, and vulnerability that begin to emerge in therapy. I support the clients and walk alongside them as they discover themselves and life; I may shine some light along the way.
4. Building a solid therapeutic alliance is crucial. How do you establish and maintain a meaningful connection with your clients, and why is this relationship essential for the healing process?
Three words: empathy, honesty, and transparency. It’s all about building trust. Trusting someone can take time for many people, and that’s okay. As a therapist, I work very relationally, which means I’m “there” for the client. I often address this issue early on: I encourage the client to tell me if there’s something on their mind about therapy or if they’re angry with me about a particular issue. I can certainly take it and keep the therapeutic space safe, and the client and I remain relational throughout. The client learns they can be emotionally intimate and vulnerable with a safe person.
5. Do you have any guidance or encouraging words for individuals considering therapy but hesitant to take the first step?
Are you asking me as a person or as a therapist? I would provide appropriate self-disclosure to help individuals feel less alone around this or like a failure because I can relate personally. I maybe did only a few sessions of therapy in my 20s, and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. There were childhood things I did not want to look at. I refused, and I didn’t approach therapy again until… well into my 30s.
So I would say, no matter what, don’t be hard on yourself. If you feel part of you wants to do something, but actual psychotherapy feels too much right now, that’s fine. Don’t push yourself. There is a realm of alternative holistic therapies (some better than others, so check out the sources well). Think of the activities you enjoy; for example, do you like doing things alone or with groups? You could also seek advice from someone you trust, like your GP. Gentle holistic therapies include breathing work, meditation, massage, yoga, and tai chi.
6. Today, I hear you’re into bringing your work to businesses with a team to improve employee mental health, welness and resilience.
Yes, I still practicewith private clientes, but my work has a larger reach working with companies. My product The DK is a global offering and provides tailored offers based on the company’s need around its employees and its current circumstances.
The DK first addresses trauma via psycho education and offers solutions for healing, secondly ensures lasting employee welness, and thirdly cultivates individual and corporate resilience.
Finally, it creates profits for the company via each of the above.